I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize