i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
We are two peas in an std pod
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize