I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
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