butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
