And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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