how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
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