please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I skipped work to stalk him.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
