I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Help. Why am I so naked?
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