***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
