Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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