now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
