they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
