I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize
