It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
