Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Randomize
