well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
