You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Randomize
