I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
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Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
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i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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