I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
I love having hate sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
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