He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Randomize
