this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
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