dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
