We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
