i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
