I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Randomize
