my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
I got her a Nickelback box set.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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