I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
love makes seman taste better
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
