hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
