I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I just want nice things and good sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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