yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
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