One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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