I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Randomize
