6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize