thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
