The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
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