I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
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