i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
whose parrot is this?
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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