Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
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