he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
