Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
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