please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
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