I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
