Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Randomize
