Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
