big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Randomize
