Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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