tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Randomize
