forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
