And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
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