he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Randomize
