i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Randomize
