But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
