Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
