Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
