My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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