I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Randomize
