Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
can u get pink eye on your cock?
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Randomize