I just made out with a guy for $7.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
