True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
