You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
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Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
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