According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
